March 14, 2012

One step at a time

Exhaustion.  Fatigue.  Overwhelmed.  Lack of support.

No wonder I don't feel like writing much these days.  School is chewing me up and going to spit me out. 

Overly dramatic, yes, but that's how I feel.  There's only so much effort, hard work, patience, resilience, and grit that one has before it becomes too much.  

I'm finding it difficult to care.  And yet, I must, because I still wake up every single night anxious about school, I solider on and try to make my classes better, I work at lessons at home, and cry when I talk to parents who just don't give a shit about how much effort you put into educating their child.  

Then again, I'm conscious of bias-reporting: of course I'm going to say I work hard at this.  Still doesn't make me a good teacher.  Just have to believe I'm doing the best job I can given the position that I'm in, and with the school and support structures that I have.

Sometimes this job totally sucks.

Dot point positives: 
- Year 12 excursion to Melbourne went well. 
- Finished watching Season 1 of Extras.
- Only ate KFC once last week.
- Year 10 class is better than last year (better being a completely relative concept).
- Yellow House, where I have a pastoral care class, won the Athletics carnival.

4 comments:

  1. Please write more! You're a brilliant writer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quentin - Bravo! So glad to discover your blog. Keep on writing. I love to listen! I'm about to begin a grad dip, but unlike you I am not a candidate for TfA - rather at the other end of the spectrum: 58y, L2 teach & learn background overseas....and can't wait to get out there!

    Best Wishes
    S

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GOOD LUCK! Thank you for your encouragement. So exciting that you're going to be a teacher. There are some amazing and brilliant schools at there so I hope you don't see this as a normal experience as a first year teacher!

      I love teaching the students I have, but it is a consistent leadership in school which is most important and makes the difference.

      Delete

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